Memoir of the Madsen Family Mom: April

April 1
The boys woke Brandan and I up this morning with a cup of cold water over the head.  April Fools.  I put my back out sitting up that fast.

April 4
Brandan wiped his wet hands on Dash's face and said "Don't you hate it when you pee on your hands?"
Backfired.
Dash said, "Yah right. I've peed on my hands before and its warmer than that."

April 6
Life was more fun when Tag couldn't open the cupboard doors.

April 12
Motherhood has made me a pessimist. I used to have a sunny disposition and believe most things turn out, but a handful of kids later and I find I always assume the worst.
Example:
*Its a sunny 68 degrees, but I pack everyone a jacket.  The weather is bound to turn bad if I don't.
*I feed all the kids before we leave the house for a dinner party.  They're sure to hate what's served.
*Lock the door while I shower? Never! What if there's a fire?

April 17
The high was 39 degrees today, but after being cooped up in the house we finally decided we had to go for a walk this afternoon.  I sent Sport down to put on some warm clothes and he came back up wearing 4 pairs of shorts and 3 t-shirts.  The logic: wearing lots of layers will keep him warm and eliminate the need for real pants and a jacket.

April 20
Some days mothering feels like a series of irreconcilable mistakes. Like this morning, when Sis asked for an apple.
Me: Do you want to eat it whole or do you want me to cut it?
Sis: Cutted.
(I'm not a complete novice, so I know to double and triple check, though this doesn't always help.)
Me: So you want me to cut it?
Sis: Yes.
Me: Okay, I'm going to cut your apple.
(I cut the apple and hand it to her.)
Sis: (falls to the ground in despair and wails) Moo-oom! I didn't want it cutted!!

And don't even get me started on the tragedy of misunderstanding a child's completely vague, yet strangely specific instructions concerning what to draw with permanent marker on a piece of what turns out to be special, one-of-a-kind, irreplaceable white printer paper.

April 22
I've got to stop trying to make Show n' Tell meaningful. Every Friday morning Colt runs around the house looking for something to take for Show n' Tell and all I can do is make completely useless suggestions.  For instance, this morning I suggested he take the book we are reading as a family.  He hated it.  Then I was audacious enough to propose he take a picture of his extended family and tell about the last family reunion.  Stupid, stupid, stupid.  I finally gave up when he shot down my idea that he show his t-shirt from a race we did last summer and tell about his experience.  Luckily, he found something great on his own, as he does every week.  Today, Colt will be regaling his class with a pack of pencil top erasers.

April 26
No one takes my threats seriously.

"Pick up this room or I'm going to throw all these toys away!"  No reaction.
"Sit down at the table or you're never eating again!"  Nothing.

Sport, however, has this mastered.  Sis won't play the game the way he wants, so he warns, "I'm never going to play with you again for my whole life!"  She immediately complies.

Maybe it's his intimidating size.

April 27
I think I should be up for an Academy Award nomination. My acting is that good.  Like when I tell the kids there are no mushrooms in the spaghetti sauce, or appear to hear and understand every word of a long detailed description of a video game.  But there is nothing I'm more proud of than my ability to fake calm after I lay Tag in his crib.  I casually saunter away, carefully avoiding all eye contact and slowly shut the door as if there is no rush.  All while fighting off the extreme urge to run from the room, slam the door and dive under my bed.

April 30
Tag-ese to English Dictionary and Pronunciation Guide
(first three words, ordered chronologically)

Mom:
/maw-aw-aw-am/
4 syllable noun
1. Female woman who meets your every demand.  Responds more quickly when shouted at, especially from the backseat of the car.
synonym: MomMomMomMomMom

Stop:
/stawp/
1 syllable verb
1. Insistence that an action end; ie: STOP-touching my toys, washing my face, singing me a lullaby
synonym: StopStopStopStop

Don't:
/dawn't/
1 syllable contraction for do not
1. Command of cessation; ie: DON'T- let a sibling look at me, sit on a parent's lap, eat anything I might want.
synonym: Don'tDon'tDon'tDon't

Strike a Balance

We still have plenty to do around the house (literally, the outside landscape is nonexistent) and in the house.  But all work and no play, you know..

So this month we found a balance between the two.

Sport has the self-assigned task of making complicated things out of paper.  Here is is modeling the elephant he made.  In addition to this, he has made realistic looking turtles, boxes and dolls for Sissy.
As a side note, this picture was taken after preschool where Sport wore his soccer uniform complete with shin guards.  He is the only boy in his class of five girls.  I guess things get rough.

A profile picture of the elephant.

Mid-month, Brandan and Sis went to the ward Daddy/Daughter Date.  It was a formal dinner and dance for Dads and daughters of all ages.  They were both pretty excited about this event and Sis made the most of her time there.  Brandan came home and reported that he and Sissy, at her request, danced ALL night.

Brandan doesn't have much time to work outside right now and I don't have much motivation.  Someone has to take up the slack.  Spits, Sis and Tag spend hours outside moving dirt from one pile to another.

Tag mostly just gets dirty.

Towards the end of the month, we finally decided to tackle the garage.  Brandan and I built shelves while the kids organized the junk.  It was a chilly day so we turned on the propane heater.  Right off the bat, Sport found the camp chairs and set them up around the heater.  It was all over from there.  Before we knew it, Dash had popped some popcorn and the work day whistle had blown.  

After a hard day working outside, Tag didn't even have the energy to crawl up the stairs.  Admittedly, I've had to take a break halfway up myself.

So tired.

When he needs a break, Colt likes to do puzzles.  One day he put all the puzzles in the puzzle box together and then requested I take a picture and put it on the blog.  This one's for you, buddy!

Nothing says relax like comfy clothes.  Tag has taken to picking out his own outfits.  Here he is sporting pjs, a bomber jacket, sun hat, and dress shoes.  He likes to keep his comfy classy.

In addition to all the To Do lists at home, the big boys and Brandan, and particularly Dash, have had a very busy scheduled month.  Dash tried out for Little League at the beginning of the month and was drafted onto a team despite the fact that this is only his first year playing baseball.  (Yes, I wrote that correctly.  My 9 year old had to try out and be drafted onto a Little League team.)  He has had practices up to three times a week, weather permitting, (so not all that often) and he and Colt are also finishing up a basketball camp that Brandan is coaching.  In order to save trips into town, a couple of days a week the boys ride the bus over to the high school and stay at track practice with Brandan until they head over to basketball and then onto baseball for Dash.  They don't waste their time though.  They spend the hour or so at the track practicing their own running events.  This month, Dash ran a 6:48 mile even though his high top sneaker came untied and he had to kick it off half way through.  And Colt ran a 3:59 800 meter!