May 1
If I wait long enough to make dinner, Tag will feed himself with bits of food from the trash. I'm not lazy, I'm teaching my children to be self-sufficient.
May 6
Brandan and Colt and Sport were playing catch in the back yard. Every time Sport threw the ball to Brand, Brandan missed it. I'll let you surmise why it was so hard for him to catch. Feeling bad for the old man, Sport started consoling him after each miss with a "So close, Dad!"
May 7
Dash has taken over cooking breakfast. He makes muffins, scrambled eggs, french toast, pancakes (from scratch!) and one Saturday, he fried up homemade donuts.
May 8
Mothers Day. Colt dropped four eggs, all at different times, while making me breakfast in bed.
May10
Tag will systematically pull apart pancakes looking for chocolate chips. Not all the pancakes I give him have chocolate chips. Its a bad day when he can't find chocolate chips in his pancakes.
May 12
Sport stores his art in the freezer. Now all our boxes of frozen butter are covered in red glitter.
May 15
Maybe after the kids grow up and move away, Brandan and I will throw all the couch cushions and pillows on the floor for old times sake.
May 21
Sissy is like a Alzheimers patient.
Sis: Mom why were you calling and calling me?
Me: Was I calling you?
Sis: I don't know. I never heard you.
Me: Wait...what...?
May 24
The family needed to do some grocery shopping, which Dash hates so he was complaining loudly.
Me: I hate shopping too. Why don't you do the shopping and I'll sit in the back of the van and complain.
Dash: Fine. Then I'll take a really long time and yell at everybody about being grounded from screens.
Touche.
May 29
The kids were dragging their feet while getting ready for church so Brandan used the threat of having to ride home with me instead of him as punishment/incentive. It worked.
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