Sunday, March 13, 2016

Memoir of the Madsen Family Mom: January

January 1
Sissy stopped wearing underwear today.  She refused with such determination I can only assume its her New Years Resolution.  Saves on laundry.

January 6
Last night Tag was sleeping in Brandan's and my bed, more accurately, Tag's bed which he generously shares with us.  Sometime in the early morning hours, sweet little Tagalong fell out of bed.  After calming him down (by tucking him back into the blankets and giving him sole use of my pillow), I laid there for a while wondering what kind of parent lets their baby fall out of large log bed. A tiny little 11 month old baby.  In fact, 11 months to the day.  Then it struck me.  Eleven months old and this is the first time he has fallen out of bed?  That counts for something.  I fell back to sleep with a clear conscience.

January 7
My kids have no problem believing in Santa Clause or the Tooth Fairy, but when I, the mother who gave them life. swear on my own head that I did not put cheese in their burrito, throw away anything, or eat their M&Ms, I'm suddenly as trustworthy as a politician.

January 10
Sibling survival is a compromise, a give and take.  Sometimes it is done so well, it can bring tears to a parent's eyes.  Like today, when we walked into church and Sport fell apart because he realized he forgot to put on a tie and Colt only hesitated for a split second before pulling off his own tie and handing it over to his brother.
Other times it can make you laugh.  Like the day I called Sport and Sis to the table and Sis immediately announced "We're not hungry."  To which Sport replied, "Yes, we are!".  Sis looked at Sport with some surprise, studied him for minute and then slowly began to nod her head. Without looking away she said, "Yes, we're hungry."  Then she turned to me and confidently said "We're hungry."

January 12
I have always suspected my kids gulp their food without properly chewing.  Cleaning up their puke after a bout of the stomach flu provides clear proof.

January 14
I have discovered the secret to getting my kids to drink more water!  All it takes is asking them to hand the water bottle over to their thirsty sibling after they're done with it.  Suddenly they are so parched, it becomes an absolute necessity they finish the bottle off themselves.

January 15
At meal times Tag communicates his satiation by throwing unwanted food on the ground.  I think I might be more inclined to leave a few bites myself if I had the option of tossing spaghetti at the wall. Think of the calories saved!

January 18
Everyone would find it much easier to meet their New Years Resolution to eat healthier if they took Sport's advice: eat what you want and feel better about yourself by renaming your favorite foods. He has renamed the following: donuts are bagels, pudding he calls yogurt, soda is known as juice, and cupcakes are muffins.  Problem solved.

January 21
Today I had all the kids with me on an intense shopping trip to Walmart, like two-cart serious.  They were "helping" me unload the carts onto the belt and things were getting a little chaotic.  I was purchasing about 12 skeins of embroidery floss and so instead of tossing them on the belt to get lost amidst the food, I handed them directly to the cashier with the following comment, "Sorry. I have a whole bunch of little annoying things".  Sport misunderstood me.  He looked up, offended, and replied, "I am not annoying."  If the shoe fits...

January 30
Three kids sick with strep throat.  I've dealt so many drugs this week, you would think I would drive a nicer car.


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